18 October 2011

The Holiday

Graham: Well, I cry all the time.
Amanda: You do not.
Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you've ever met.
Amanda: You don't have to be this nice.
Graham: It happens to be the truth.
Amanda: Really?
Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.
Amanda: Shut up.
Graham: I'm a major weeper.

I've been having multiple "Graham moments." The whole leaving concept has started to sink in big time. My husband got his official transfer orders last week and I cried my eyeballs out. Don't get me wrong...I was elated over the fact that we FINALLY got the papers, so now I can start processing my Visa (once my no-fee passport comes in), but it also meant that we are leaving for real. This isn't a short vacation. It's three years.

Of course I have the opportunity to come home whenever I want. But I'm trying to reconcile myself to the fact that I won't be coming home during those three years. I don't want to waste money traveling to the US when my husband and I could use those $$$$...$$$ to experience and travel throughout Europe.

But back to the Graham moments. I was trying to put together my Christmas budget I as begin to plan and scope out deals for the few presents that I'll be buying. As I thought about presents for my mom, I started to tear up. I'm going to miss Mom tanto.

08 October 2011

Good News...Sort Of

My primary physician doesn't concur with the specialist that said I have lupus. This is a good thing in some ways because I'm not branded with this diagnosis...yet.

Bad news is I don't trust my primary. She's only seen me for two months, and while she has all my records, it would take longer than two months to read though it all! On the other hand, I trust the specialist who's known me for years.

Thankfully I'm not having any significant problems at the moment, so I'm crossing my fingers in hopes that things will stay this will until we get to Italy, and then the Army docs take it from there. Boy, do I feel sorry for them. Haha.

06 October 2011


I was just recently diagnosed with lupus. Oh the irony. Especially since the day before I received this diagnosis, I posted the "Spoon Theory" and the my first words were...."I don't have lupus."

When I first received the news, I was almost relieved. There was FINALLY a reason as to why all these random things were happening to me at such a young 20-something age. Fast forward to a few hours later, after I had spent some time "Google-ing" my diagnosis, I was no longer happy. I was now overwhelmed, upset, and scared. Lupus patients have SO many problems as time goes on. Is this going to be me? Am I going to look like that?

Maybe I can wake up tomorrow and this will all be just a bad dream.