Today was a good day.
Got to spend the morning/afternoon with my Mom. Went to Scott Airforce Base to see if they had a diaper bag I wanted (they didn't). Cleaned the bathroom floor. Hung up some window blinds. Went to a girlfriend's party...
And then the busy part of the day ends and I'm climbing into an empty bed...
I get so sad. Not even Baby-A.'s kicks, or my usual favorite (a long hot shower) can cheer me up. I miss my husband and I'm terrified to go through this whole labor and delivery thing without him. I feel overwhelmingly guilty that I/we chose for me to come back to the states to have Baby-A because there is a 99.999999% chance that hubby won't make it in time for the birth of his baby.
The other night, I had contractions 5 minutes apart for 4 hours, before they finally stalled out. I didn't even call the doctor. I was in denial. I wasn't ready to go through with this.
Decisions look so much easier on paper than they feel like in real life.
But come to think of it, I should be proud of myself for having made any decision at all back then, being such a hormonal-crazed prego that I was/am! =0)