24 July 2012

Day 39

My mind has been playing war with itself and I'm getting a little frustrated...but yet I can't help the thoughts raging in my head.

I'm tired and DONE being pregnant, yet at the same time I'm hoping Baby-A stays inside me as long as possible because I'm not ready to be a mom yet.  I'm terrified and overwhelmed at the thought of all that is about to change and take place. 

I miss Hubby terribly and just want to have this whole labor and delivery thing started so I can finally see him again, yet I know that our time together after Baby-A is born will be short and I can't see myself going through another goodbye.  Not yet at least.  I'm still trying to grow a set of balls and get through the lonely nights as is...and it's only been 39 days. 

But some of the good things:

I don't freak out anymore about where I'll have to deliver or what doc will be on call. 

I am so lucky to be able to spend all this time with family and friends, and have their support and help. 

I have enjoyed going shopping for Baby-A.  Shopping online is not a pleasant experience for me.  It's hard to know what you want.

I love going out shopping...even grocery shopping or just window shopping.  If one store doesn't have what I want, I can always find it somewhere else! 

I love eating fresh (SOFT) bread that isn't frozen when I first buy it and then having gone bad one week later.

I love being able to bake things without having to kick at the oven to get it to turn on.

I love being able to wash AND dry laundry in under two hours.

I love seeing the American flag hanging everywhere. 

I love hearing (most) everyone speak English.  I don't have to google translate to order food at a restaurant.

I love being able to plug electronics in without having to find a transformer first.

and to give you all a good laugh, even though I'm being completely honest.....I love being able to fit in the shower.  I'm no longer banging my knees, elbows, or belly in our little 2x3 shower in Italy.

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