14 March 2012

For YOUR Safety

Here are a few tips on what NOT to say or do to a pregnant woman unless you want to get hit with one of the wonderful comebacks below...or literally slugged in the face (blame the hormones).

I'm sure the list will grow as I get bigger and become the subject of even more "Whoa, you are huge" comments. Sadly I have to admit that I've been the a culprit of #1...sorry girls!

Of course immediate family is excused from having to follow this list...because they had put up with me for the past 29 years and therefore have the right to tease and torture me all they want.

Disclosure: Not all the comebacks came from my ingenious brain. A few of them came from Pregnant Chicken and are linked back to the appropriate webpage.


1. How are you feeling?
Depending on the moment and how far along I am, I could be experiencing nausea, fatigue, headaches, heartburn, leg cramps, nosebleeds, ligament pain, stuffy nose, and and a host of other "wonderful" and common pregnancy side effects. So don't ask me how I'm feeling! If you really want to know, ask me how far along I am and go look up it up on Google.

2. NEVER and I mean NEVER touch the belly.
I won't touch your belly if you don't touch mine. (Seems like a fair trade).

3. Should you be eating that?

4. How many more babies are you going to have?

5. Feeling fat yet?

6. You better sleep now because once the baby gets here....
I can't sleep now because of the pregnancy induced insomnia, and I'm about to turn into a raging monster from sheer exhaustion. But thanks for the advice.

7. You should NOT be drinking caffeine.

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